Many fathers are still following a dusty handbook for their sons that both limit and hurt them in profound ways. When Jake was in high school, his father pushed him hard to excel on the lacrosse field and in academics. “I caught grief if I didn’t score enough goals or bring home A’s,” the 23-year-old told me a year ago. He wound up co-captain on a Division I lacrosse team and graduated from the honors college at his university.